Česky (CZK)How Erotic Coloring Books Help You Talk About Sex
Why sex is so hard to talk about
Almost everyone has a “I'd never say that out loud”. You put up with it for a while, then it turns into shyness, then insecurity in bed, and finally the feeling that something's just off.
Yet all it takes is finding a way to start talking about what you'd like — without turning the color of a beetroot. And hands kept busy with a colored pencil are a surprisingly good trick for exactly that.
What the science says
Two things work together here. First, calm: research (Kaimal et al., 2016) and a study on coloring and anxiety (Curry & Kasser, 2005) show that coloring lowers stress and anxiety — and a relaxed person finds it far easier to talk about sensitive stuff.
Second, communication. a meta-analysis of sexual communication (Mallory et al., 2019) is clear: open sexual communication is one of the strongest predictors of satisfaction both in bed and in the relationship. A coloring book is simply a comfortable excuse to get that conversation going.
How to bring up a taboo topic
Start with paper, not with “we need to talk”. Lay out the pencils, put something on in the background and color together. The question drops in far more naturally.
Ask out of curiosity, not control. “What would you be up for trying?” lands better than an interrogation.
Take it in small doses. You don't have to blurt everything out at once. One question an evening is plenty.
Why sex is so hard to talk about (and why it's worth getting past)
Shame around sex settles into us from childhood — from upbringing, from school, from the fact that it ‘wasn't talked about’ at home. The result is that even grown-up, well-matched partners often don't say out loud what they'd like, because they're afraid it sounds weird or will disappoint the other.
But unspoken desires don't go anywhere — they just turn into quiet tension. Your partner isn't a telepath; what you don't say, they won't know. And the longer the silence, the bigger the thing grows, even though one calm sentence would have done it.
The good news is that talking about sex is a skill, not a talent. You can train it in small steps and each next one is easier. And the reward is worth it: couples who talk openly about sex tend to be more satisfied not only in bed, but in the relationship overall.
Lines that make it easier to broach the topic
Start with yourself, not a reproach. ‘I was thinking I'd like to try…’ sounds better than ‘you never…’. About yourself is always easier than about the other.
Ask openly. ‘Is there something you'd like to try that we haven't gotten to?’ gives space without pushing.
Appreciate before you suggest. ‘I love how we…, and I was wondering, what if we…’ — praise opens doors better than criticism.
Give it time and a form. It doesn't have to be a serious talk at the table. Over coloring, on a walk, or in bed afterward. Less eye contact, more courage. And if it stumbles the first time, no problem — even a clumsy start is still a start.
The most common awkward moments and how to ride them out
Bad timing. A serious talk about sex in the middle of an argument or five minutes before sleep won't land. Pick a calm moment when you have time for each other and nobody's rushing anywhere — over coloring, on a walk, over wine.
Expecting instant enthusiasm. When your partner reacts awkwardly, it's not a rejection of you. The topic is unfamiliar for many. Give them room, don't reproach, and come back to it another time. The first reaction isn't the last.
Overstepping a line. When you suggest something that doesn't sit right with the other, it's not the end of the world — it's information. Thank them for the honesty, don't take it personally, and look for what suits you both. Consent and comfort always come before any specific idea.
Shots for courage. A little loosening up helps, but tackling a sensitive topic drunk is a road to hell. A glass for courage yes, getting hammered for it no. The head that still knows what it's saying speaks best.
The coloring book is a springboard, not the goal
Let's be clear: the goal isn't to spend the rest of your life coloring instead of having sex. The coloring book is a springboard — a tool to take the edge off and kick-start a conversation you'd otherwise keep postponing. Once you've opened up, the springboard has done its job and can happily stay lying around.
What it removes is the hardest part: the first step. Reaching for the topic out of nowhere is unimaginable for many couples. Having a shared activity on hand, where the conversation comes as if in passing, hides that first step in something pleasant and non-threatening.
So don't treat it as a permanent crutch, but as training. Over time you'll find you can talk about your wishes even without pencils — in bed, over breakfast, anywhere. And that's actually the real goal: a relationship where sex is talked about calmly and without shame, because you once practiced it together.
A few samples from our coloring books
Is it for you, or not?
- ✅ you want to talk about sex with your partner better than before
- ✅ taboo intrigues you more than it scares you
- ✅ you're after a gift that kicks off the evening
- ❌ a drawn penis or vulva offends you
- ❌ you expect relaxing mandalas for the frame
- ❌ you never talk about sex and you're happy that way
You ask, we answer
Frequently asked questions
Can a coloring book really get my partner talking? +
Indirectly, but yes. It lowers the tension and gives you a shared activity — and over it, sensitive things come up more easily. Research then links good communication to better sex.
How do I even start talking about sex? +
Don't open with a “serious talk”. Lay out the pencils, color together, and the question comes on its own.
Does it work as a gift? +
Perfectly. For an anniversary, a bachelorette or a Secret Santa. Add a note and send it straight to the lucky recipient.
Check these out too
Sources
Where we get our facts
- Curry, N. A., & Kasser, T. (2005). Can Coloring Mandalas Reduce Anxiety? Art Therapy, 22(2), 81–85.
- Kaimal, G., Ray, K., & Muniz, J. (2016). Reduction of Cortisol Levels and Participants' Responses Following Art Making. Art Therapy, 33(2), 74–80.
- Flett, J. A. M., et al. (2017). Sharpen Your Pencils: Adult Coloring Reduces Depressive Symptoms and Anxiety. Creativity Research Journal, 29(4), 409–416.
- Stuckey, H. L., & Nobel, J. (2010). The Connection Between Art, Healing, and Public Health. American Journal of Public Health, 100(2), 254–263.
- Mallory, A. B., Stanton, A. M., & Handy, A. B. (2019). Couples' Sexual Communication and Dimensions of Sexual Function: A Meta-Analysis. The Journal of Sex Research, 56(7), 882–898.
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